No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
