is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
