They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
