saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
