i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
