I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
