I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
