Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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