she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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