I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
