2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
