i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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