1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You have to summon your inner elephant
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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