Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
