I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize
