respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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