I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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