My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
