Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
