Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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