just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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