I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
