Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
