My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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