I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
is wine microwaveable?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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