oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
