Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
