honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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