margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
