ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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