after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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