is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
