I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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