just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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