Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Everything about him screamed your future.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
