that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
