He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
