She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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