On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He passed out mid-signature
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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