i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
