I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
