i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
