So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
