I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
