So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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