You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
