For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
