Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
