I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
