Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
